How many times must it take?
will I ever be free of this shadowed Karma,
my soulful regret that carries me to oblivion.
I am here against the cold grey wall from my childhood remembering s.
I have saved this last breathing Lilly.
and I wait for you,
my beloved,
my enchanted wanderer.
you who captivates me in the lonesome moonlit night.
you who have called to me upon these brisk and sacrificial waves.
the midnight of my days remembered, and lost.
where will you be to save me from my falling to the earth.
these winds have swept the graces from my trembling breath.
I shiver as though I am electrified by my deepened thoughts of you.
My unknown.
“the devouring changes take me with them as i go into the night, into the sea.
this dark hallow that has played it’s tricks upon me.
truly I am a newborn in the presence of this light.”
will I know when it has become my time?
will I feel the hands of choice taking me with them as i give in to my restless breathing.
why should I walk if not for freedom of life and death.
will the weights of this ever changing social crutch become the death of my hope…
it is time for rebirth.
it is time to recycle this earth’s crust.
the warrior with in me feels the blood from once my kin became.
I am sickened with in these collapsing borders of dirt, and clay.
I tell myself to be free of it all, to be the kind to rise above all.
still
these tears fall like silver snakes trying to escape my grasping eye’s
i have missed you in my lingering upon this planets face.
i am ready now to return to you, my angelic scripture with in the distant skies.
i pray for all those who are too lost to save.
with the suffering of our ways we have all become victims of this daily race.
as it shall be. think positive for the good of creation.
think positive for the good of this earth.
in a world filled with zombies who think only of themselves.
one more day to please our precious….
I wish to be saved, but who could save me from the only world i know.
I wish to get away from it all but where does this world end and reality begin.
or where does this reality end and truth begin.
as though truth were more than just a symptom of lying.
I will keep giving my last dollar.
and I will continue to see beauty all the people.
“my love will never stop,
it can only surrender to change.”
Victor Brodeur 2011
This is not me.
This is what I have become.
I am like the lonely tide and I cannot find my home. I am forced to stay at sea trapped against my celestial calling and my earthly bond.
I have been alone and walked this path into the emptiness with nothing but my regrets.
I am forsaken and I see this world as a shell, Contego Lupus, my lonely wolf where have you been.
I have searched beyond the gates of my true understanding to find my soul looking back at me, and still I am at a loss.
I have devoured this fallen love and shackled myself to the divine pain I feel. It angers me that I have not yet found peace with in this crumbling clay. I shiver when I’m warm… It is my spirit trying to reach out to me. But what does it say. What are these driving voices inside my head? Why do they attack me?
I am the trembling slave. I have been thrust into your mercy and I give in to you. If must needs be sacrificed than I shall lay waste to the pale tears that have slipped from my grasping eyes.
I am this fire burning without mercy or fear. I can never be stopped I have been put into creation to consume all that I touch. And I do until the end of existence. Like a cold new star who’s mass is incalculable I feel such weight upon me as I sit here with in my loneliness, trying to find nothing but some release from all that haunts me.
I am the empty road I trudge upon into the night with only my deep thoughts to be with me. Am I forsaken? Who is this person that processes me? Is there no hope for the devil I have become? Not in my darkest dreams would this crucifix be mine to bear. Yet here I am…
I am what I have become and it takes me without remorse into the night. And all I hear is the chatter of rain falling all around me. Can I be saved? This scar wrapped so tightly around my heart has left but a glimpse of what I used to be. And now I sit here again and write these saddened words.
Will I never be free of these karmic years?
I am this corroding body, if once my temple were within me it is long gone and forsaken, Lost to these sands of time. And forgotten like the morning mist from the fields of my remembering. I sigh… What has become of my love? Again I lay here trembling under your mercy but this time I do not beg for forgiveness I will take this shame, it is mine to carry.
I am this cold dark night. My breath freezes as it leaves my frozen core. And still the restless tides of my breathing continue, to my amazement my beating heart still beats. Where does this path lead me? Why am I still here? I beg the universe for this all to end. But it cannot.
For you
I’ve blogged about sexual assault here before: http://victoriadahl.tumblr.com/post/12092967856/in-which-victoria-has-some-serious-thoughts-about I’ve also said that I have been sexually assaulted, which I gather some people view as a weird, personal thing to reveal so frankly. But I’m not…
“Slavery By Another Name” This film is airing on PBS only two weeks after Sundance! February 13th. It looks amazing. I can’t wait.
“A loophole in the 13th Amendment abolished slavery, except in the case of punishment for a crime…It became a crime in the South to be unemployed, to leave one job for another one, to sell cotton after sundown, to speak too loudly in the company of white women.” -Catherine Allan, producer
Salt Lake Tribune article here: http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/sundance/53315985-177/slavery-sundance-film-descendants.html.csp
Note: if you just want to use the importer, go here.
I’ve been using Tumblr for about 6 months now, and I’ve loved it from the start. Up till now, I’ve only used it for my tumblelog and a few private groups for projects. But every time I posted on my regular blog, I missed Tumblr. That’s…
